“Don’t confuse me with the truth! ” “I need to find out this from my truth of the matter only! ” Sound accustomed?
Have you noticed how quarrels escalate with emotional abusers? They tell you that something is bothering them with no uncertain terms, nonetheless often fail to fill most people in on what that hell it is. So here you are knowing fully what they feel, yet you remain in the dark why.

Part of how they deal with their personal vulnerability is to make you incorrect in order for them to be right. As you know, from where they stand, they must be best. So, don’t confuse them with the facts.

It may start with, “That’s the problem with you… You will be too intense, too effective, too late with that explanation, too whatever to help you compel me to take you will in and actually hear which are something to say… worthy of your attention, much less my attention. ” Get the picture?

You feel unheard in that moment when you, indeed, are… You are not approved permission to share. You are not with an opinion that differs coming from theirs. You see, if you wait to your point of view, there is a price tag in this interaction with an emotional abuser.

If this is the pattern from interaction with your intimate spouse, take a hard and fast look at the character of abusive relationships. The better you grasp a lot of these dynamics, the easier it will be that you break the cycle from abuse before it spirals out of control.

What emotional abusers are really telling you is usually that there is no room for a reality in a discussion by means of them. Embracing your viewpoint is beyond them. You observe, your perspective doesn’t assure their consideration, because they formerly made up their mind and really don’t want you to bamboozle them with your facts.

The price you pay is verbal emotional abuse. You know the dialogue is over, so you pull the idea back and lick that wounds inspired by the emotional abuse dished out to stay you in your place. Should you be following me in this detailed description of this interaction, then you have probably experienced verbal emotional use. It is both subtle and significant. It leaves most people emotionally off base, oftentimes even before you know what happened.

Then, if you get blessed, they may expand on their issue with you feel this sigh of relief, because nowadays you have something you can overcome or at least address. Therefore you seek to share ones perspective, your point of view. And wham, you’re cut off with, Don’t confuse me together with the facts. My mind is made up.

To get this message through to you, the emotional abuser will pile on another tier of attack aimed to avoid you in your tracks. It may sound like this… “Well, that’s a logical position, BUT…
You are aware of a “but” is arriving and with it is the next emotional assault.

All the mess around “don’t confuse myself with the facts” is simply an effort to re-establish a great unequal distribution of electric power in the relationship. The psychological and mental assault or blow for the character is their efforts to tilt the machine, because in that moment they are simply tasting their own vulnerability.